Old Goat Gets Colonoscopy

When I turned 50 years old last May, I was greeted by the birthday jabs of now being in the Old Goat Club -- and reminded that it was time to see the doc about a poop-shoot-look-see. I knew the test was important, but having talked to a number of folks who undertook the exam, my greatest concern was the preparation: the colon must be free of solid matter for the test to be performed properly. Easier said than done for a quadriplegic relying on personal care assistance for toilet transfers.

I did some research: the patient should plan to spend the day at home in comfortable surroundings with ready access to toilet facilities. The patient may also want to have moist toilettes at hand or a bidet for cleaning the anus. A soothing salve such as petroleum jelly applied after cleaning the anus will improve patient comfort.

Yikes! I canceled my scheduled appointment. Sorry, too much fun.

Bowel and bladder care for a quad is already enough fun without adding surprises certain to bust a move! But am I the only one? What about all you other guys and gals in the Old Goat Club? Have you done your poop-shoot-look-see? I can’t be alone in the matter of coordinating the matter of excavating fecal matter.... Help!

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Colonoscopy is the endoscopic examination of the colon and the distal part of the small bowel with a CCD camera or a fiber optic camera on a flexible tube passed through the anus. It may provide a visual diagnosis (e.g. ulceration, polyps) and grants the opportunity for biopsy or removal of suspected lesions.

Colonoscopy is similar to but not the same as sigmoidoscopy -- the difference being related to which parts of the colon each can examine. While colonoscopy allows an examination of the entire colon (measuring four to five feet in length), sigmoidoscopy allows doctors to view only the final two feet of the colon. A sigmoidoscopy is often used as a screening procedure for a full colonoscopy, in many instances in conjunction with a fecal occult blood test (FOBT), which can detect the formation of cancerous cells throughout the colon.

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And then I received a telephone call from Kelly Takashima, a Nurse Practitioner from Kaiser Permanente. She questioned my reason for canceling my appointment after blood was found in my stool from a self-administered test. I explained the quad thing. She reiterated the importance of the exam, and suggested we work together on a strategy for managing the preparation process.

Ms. Takashima suggested a fecal collection bag as a possible option or an auxiliary method. She was concerned that I would not decide to proceed. As she spoke, I wondered to myself, “Why does this lady care so much about what I do? She doesn’t even know me....”

And then I realized I was speaking to a caring, health care professional; someone above and beyond just doing her job -- someone with integrity.

My attitude changed. Ms. Takashima, through her caring point of view, convinced me to suck it up and follow through. I now felt a sense of conviction: a colonoscopy was now something I wanted to do.

I made a new appointment. My wife Valerie, my co-pilot in this adventure, met Ms. Takashima to pick up the bags. Val picked up the Gavilyte solution, and the night before the procedure, I drank down a half-gallon of the solution. Two hours after my first slug of the sauce, I made my first of eight transfers onto the throne. I did not need the bags.

The next morning, after twenty-seven hours without eating solid food, Mark Yoshida, MD conducted my colonoscopy. No pain; no problem; two benign polyps removed. And I was helped through the entire process by kind, gentle hospital staff proficient and communicative of everything they did. Actually, Valerie is the unsung hero of this ditty. She managed all the transfers and the paperwork; she was my transportation and helped me check in and out of the hospital.

So, what’s the verdict? Listen to Ms. Takashima.

You quads out there, find a way; follow through; it ain’t that bad. And it might save your life.

Wally Soares