Top Ten List of Women who have Influenced My Life

1. Valerie Miehlstein. My wife; trusted friend; mother of our child.

Valerie has shown me an amazing ability to love all people, animals, and things on this earth. She has convictions beyond my capacity.


2. Iwalani Marie. My daughter; a smart, physically able child, still unaware that prejudices exist.

Iwalani forced me to grow up; confront insecurities; and demonstrate integrity. Not easy for a guy like me.


3. Evelyn Soares. My mother.

Evelyn fed me; dressed me; taught me; disciplined me; was my primary care giver for many years when I first became disabled. Tough ol’ Portagee lady -- gotta love her tenacity.


4. Rose Botello. My childhood babysitter.

“Aunty Rose” as I recall, was the epitome of gentle love. I was a magnet to this lady who would embrace me for my simple lego building and my [I thought] colossal bowel movements a kid.


5. Ann Ito. UH KOKUA Program Director.

I was introduced to Ann at age 18, and with a calm, gentle voice, she asked me to peer beyond my disability and seek higher education so as to foster my greater self. She remains my hero to date.


6. Susan Rocco. SPIN Program Disability Advocate.
Jan Tataeshi. SPIN Program Disability Advocate.

Susan and Jan have sons with disabilities. No big deal; just don’t tell them they ain’t welcomed here. These two ladies carry themselves with unmatched conviction and grace; they ask not for recognition, but acceptance and inclusion of all people with disabilities in society.


7. Erica Jones. Principal Investigator and Director of DBTAC - Pacific ADA Center.

Fresh out of college, Erica gave me my first real job as a Personal Care Attendant Counselor at the Hawaii Centers for Independent Living. In other words, she provided me with an opportunity to demonstrate I had the ability and the capability to be the person she saw in me.


8. Sheryl Nelson. Disability Advocate

Back in the mid 1980’s, Sheryl challenged me to develop a greater awareness of the movement of people with disabilities -- and then practice my new awareness as I lived my life as a participating and contributing member of my community. Today, I’d like to think I serve in the ranks with Sheryl, although she’ll always have that smart, sharp edge that comes by way of the genes only.


9. Helen Street. Spiritual Teacher

Helen gave me the permission I sought to accept that NOT adhering to my religious up-bring was OK. That saying I did not have and hold the gift of faith was OK. That questioning the existence of God was OK. That accepting myself as a mere mortal, unable to hoist the philosophical flag held by the masses was OK. BIG STEP forward for a young man.


10. Sara. Addict

Sara had a boyfriend, 3 kids, a trashy apartment and would predictably lose her sobriety again and again. I wanted more for her, and thus gave her a job, sometimes food, sometimes money. But she always pissed it all away. Sara didn’t want what I wanted. I could not give Sara what she needed. Lesson learned.